Here is a direct link to the Band Camp page for the free download, click "Buy Now":http://electricgrandmother.bandcamp.com/album/the-bodyguard-soundtrack

Here is a link to buy the CD, or download the Deluxe version with 10 bonus songs for $7, directly from the INS website: http://www.infinitenumberofsounds.com/the-bodyguard-soundtrack/

I guess since I’ve written up a review of the last album, it’s now a tradition. I do this because Pete is the songwriter in this band. I have very little to do with it. Sure, I give him frequent, honest feedback during the recording process. I try and stop him when I feel he’s used too many effects or samples. I cry and whine when he writes backup vocals outside of my narrow range. Like a lot of people, I give him a lot of those “why don’t you write a song about _________?” suggestions—the difference being that he actually takes mine. So I’m involved, yes, but mainly I’m still and always his biggest fan. I’m not all that musical and am still in awe of the songwriting process, especially how he is able to write songs that really get to people in one way or another.

I’m going to lay it out there right away: this is a weird fucking album. All EG albums are weird to varying degrees, but this one stands out, especially among the more recent stuff. I think Love in an Escalator was probably the most commercial. People who have only heard Love would probably find this hard to believe. Those who met the challenge to sit down and listen to all of the epic retrospective Make a Joyful Noise would not.

But back to The Bodyguard Soundtrack.  We agonized over the title. I would say we spent a minimum of 60 hours discussing it.  Before settling on the eventual winner, we had very few ideas. Some rejected titles included Van Halen (Pete’s choice) and Compact Disc (mine).  We tested the title with a few friends early in the year.  Most of them loved it. One of them loved it with a but—it reminded her that Whitney Houston was dead and that Bobbi Kristina would probably be soon, as she was then in a coma or something. This shot me into a spiral of doubt.  Not because I was worried people would be “offended” or whatever, but mostly because I didn’t want to be a downer. EG is all about the party. You don’t want people thinking of dead pop singers and their near-dead daughters during the party. After conducting a bit more polling, I we decided it was just that one friend and settled. Until I had a bit of doubt following Bobbi Kristina’s actual death. Only briefly though.

Maybe you didn’t know that The Bodyguard: Original Soundtrack Album is the greatest selling motion picture soundtrack of all time? What’s more, it’s also the fourth greatest selling album of all time. That kills me. It is because of this and the unusual personal relationship we each have with the soundtrack and the film itself that it became clear that this was to be the title of the album. Also because it’s a weird rip off that we both probably thought was a lot funnier than anyone else did. Which also brings us to the art. We had Roxplosion photograph us with only a general idea of what we wanted to do. Then we gave all of the photos to Photoshop genius and Electric Grandmother visual artist laureate, Noah Sorah, who ran with it. I initially had mixed feelings on the idea of doing a 1:1 parody on the actual soundtrack album cover, but when we saw what Noah had done, we didn’t really have a choice. It was so brilliant as it was.

In addition to a title and a cover, there is actual music related to this album we’re about to release. I think it’s usually unconscious, but Pete is a good album composer. There ‘s usually some kind of cohesive theme to it. The way I see it, The Stenographer was a reflection of his mixed feelings about the past. Listening Party was a bit of a temper tantrum about the politics of local music. Love in an Escalator was about change and transition. The Bodyguard Soundtrack is more or less about fame.

Thematically, the songs kind of mirror artists (loose term) at the top of their game. The de facto title track, “The Bodyguard” is about the movie, but the movie is only really remarkable because of the wildly successful soundtrack (and the salubrious Whitney Houston, of course). Similarly, “Michael Jordan” is probably assumed to be about the movie Space Jam, but it’s actually the first-person account of an obsessive fan whose only exposure to Michael Jordan is from the movie. There are two songs that are, to varying degrees about Madonna, one that’s really about the Saved by the Bell episode “Rockumentary.” The song is called “Mr. Madonna,” FYI. The other one is a bizarre one called “Madonna Was Once Just Like You.” Incidentally, this was one where I yelled at him for writing backup vocals out of my range. He barely changed it though and we just did it a krillion times until I got as close as I did. I’m kind of proud of it! To this day, I still cringe, waiting to hear myself go out of tune and I don’t. Not really. “They Photographed My Penis” is about that time in 1993 when Michael Jackson put out a statement about one of the molestation trials’ investigations that he felt was too invasive (call the wahmbulance).

As I said, this is a weird album. A few of the songs I’ll just mention by title because they kind of speak for themselves in this regard. “Bill and Hillary Clinton Making Out in a Hot Tub Full of Poop and Pee,” “Food Gives Us Shit,” “We Here at NASA,” and “Kiss Your Food” are pretty much as advertised. Another, which might actually be my favorite song on the album, “We Threw Up on Nuns” might get the video treatment. But not until spring, at the earliest. The title of “The Hawk” isn’t all that outlandish, but when you hear it, you’ll understand why I’m lumping it in here.

Speaking of music videos, may have heard our musical celebration of the return of our favorite sitcom-core show of all time, “Fuller House.” Shout out again to Mason Shelby for helping us make our very first music video happen.

The straightforward, topical classics you’ve come to expect from us are well represented on The Bodyguard Soundtrack as well, some of which have been performed live already. “Yo Palm Springs” is actually about two sitcom-core episodes about Palm Springs, one on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and the other on Saved by the Bell. Two shows in one song, unified by an on-location setting. This is highly experimental stuff, folks. “Raptor Rap” is NOT about Jurassic World, it’s actually another Mrs. Doubtfire song, believe it or not. “Skis CDs” is about our favorite Valentine’s Day themed horror movie of all time, Valentine (which starred David Boreanaz and Denise Richards if you don’t remember it). We’ve watched it every year since we saw it in the theater on Valentine’s Day 2001. It’s one of my favorite traditions. We’ve been performing “Three Men and a Baby” for several months already and I think it’s one of the poppier ditties this album offers. There’s also a quietly brilliant song about the Michael Keaton vehicle, “Mr. Mom.” “Vulture Lives” is about a 30-second bit on Full House where Jesse rightly recognizes that the Rippers are kind of old-fashioned and he needed to be more like Whitesnake or Ratt. I can’t believe I just typed those words.

I don’t have a lot to say about the two latest installments of the Tired Robots instrumental series. Except that I always enjoy them and hope you do too.

Finally, there’s “Red Hot Oahu Blues,” which Pete says is probably the last love song he’ll ever write. It’s actually probably the most personal one he’s ever written as well. I won’t go into it too much (for that very reason), but will explain the origin story. I was excited about my first trip back home to Hawaii in four years and was talking about it a lot on Facebook. Noah, as he does, whipped up a fake album cover with the title “Red Hot Oahu Blues” on it. We loved it so much that we did briefly consider naming the album after it, but then Pete got the inspiration to write this song. He wrote it during the couple days’ head start I got on that trip back to Hawaii. I remember sitting on the bed in my brother’s house, straining to hear it on the crappy laptop speakers, and being so touched by it. He’s a good guy, my husby.

So that’s the album. I think it’s great. Come see us at the show on Saturday or catch us on tour if you can. Look forward to seeing you!

Mary Alice, 10/11/15

"Fuller House" music video!  Filmed and edited by Mason Shelby at Mt. Vernon, George Washington's house!

New Electric Grandmother album, The Bodyguard Soundtrack, available on October 17th from Infinite Number of Sounds Recording Company! 

Geek: Looking both ways before crossing the street.

Instead: Just cross the street, you don't want to be a geek.

Geek: Saying "They can't come to the phone right now" when a stranger calls your house.

Instead: Everyone knows that "can't come to the phone" shit means your mom isn't home. You might as well invite the kidnappers over and leave the front door unlocked. Defiantly state, "She isn't here," or make something up, just don't be vague about it.

Geek: Calling home to tell your parents where you are.

Instead: Fuck that, just go to your friend's house after school and come home when you want. Do you want your friend to make fun of you?

Geek: Doing your homework first, so you get it out of the way.

Instead: Watch cartoons as soon as you get home.

Geek: Having milk with dinner.

Instead: Drink pop with dinner.

Geek: Eating breakfast before school.

Instead: Nothing's cooler than saying "I didn't eat breakfast this morning," it shows that you're independent, and it sounds grown-up.

Geek: Coming in from recess as soon as the bell rings.

Instead: You want to milk as much time as possible, your class isn't going anywhere.

Here is a new Pilot called Skis CDs from the upcoming album, set for an October release! Hey!

This song is about the 2001 movie Valentine, whose Wikipedia page apparently has an "Irony" section now, which was no doubt created by a person who really, really cares about this movie.

If you want a description of the movie, simply look at the picture there of a young David Boreanaz.  Before he was a primetime TV star, we simply knew him as "That freak with big shoulders from Valentine."  There's other people in the movie, but they don't really matter.

The title "Skis CDs" comes from something a love interest of one of the girls said while trying to rip off her rich, tan father. He was explaining to her that his roommate threw him out of his apartment, along with all his stuff, including his "Skis, CDs."  The same guy had a history of using women for their money, as is evidenced later in the movie, when he is confronted by a woman who accuses him of ripping her off with a phony start up .com, sarcastically calling it "bleedmedry.com" (domain available).  Both the "Skis, CDs" quote and the bogus URL address are sampled in this song.

This is one of those songs where we're not expecting anyone to understand.  It's merely a nuclear assault for the senses.

So I had this dream last that there was this smart-ass fellow who was being threatened with physical violence by two larger men because of something he said to them. It was one of those dreams where it started out that the smart-ass being threatened was me (go figure), but then it changed to another guy later on. The goal of the entire community was to try and distract the two threatening men so that the cute, misunderstood guy could get away safely.

So there ended up being a large group of people hatching a plan to distract the two men while the me-guy hid from them. Myself and the group of people determined that the best way to distract the two violent men was to tell one of them that his son had been killed, and that he needed to leave right away. So we told one of the men that his son had been killed, and he got adequately upset and departed. A large cheer went up as the two men disappeared from sight, and the hiding fellow emerged, covered in dirt but safe. I ran over and gave him a hug, and he was subsequently tackled by the rest of the supporting crowd. As we continued to celebrate, we started to sing this tune where we repeated "We kicked their ass!" over and over. I woke from the dream with the melody still in my head, and so I got up and sang it into my hand-held digital recorder. It was then that I determined that the melody, and subsequent rhythmic bassline that I groggily came up with would be used for the final song I'll write for the new EG album, and it will be about the upcoming series "Fuller House." What better way to celebrate the new Full House-spinoff than to write a song about it in advance.

Thank you, good night, and good luck.

Hello man.  The album is coming up hard and fast, looking at either September or October for the release.  We got Three Men And a Baby here, a brand new music song that we debuted at Rap Round Robin.  You know about the ghost boy, and everything.

This here pilot is presented in honor of Netflix's terrible idea to dig up the corpse of the mighty Full House, the sitcomcoriest show that ever Sitcom-Cored.

A bad idea, eh Grannies?  Yeah, because it can only be marginally less stupid than The Growing Pains Movie.  My bandmate and I were just discussing how in the year 200o when that Growing Pains movie aired, it was a time of limbo.  The Sitcom-Core era as we knew it had long been over - that era, which can be quickly defined as TV that was "blissfully unaware," had expired and given way to the "winky winky" TV era, with every show attempting to be witty and urbane.  The formulaic innocence was lost (we theorize) when Seinfeld hit it's stride.  As good as Seinfeld was, it was probably too good, and equivalent to Nirvana coming along and blowing 80's hair-metal out of the water.  And since we do live in a "post-Nirvana" TV sitcom landscape, I can only imagine a Full House revival would be nothing more than a practice in cognitive dissonance.  Two versions of Full House cannot exist in this world, it's too volatile. We'll watch it, of course.

So about this song, Someone's Gonna Need Surgery.  I had a dream one night about a Full House moment that never happened - Danny was singing a bizarre song while playing guitar, and Joey started singing along in a Kermit the Frog voice, saying "Someone's Gonna Need Surgery!," implying that Danny was going nuts, and would need surgery (presumably on his brain) to bring him back to sanity.  So I wrote a song around that phrase exactly as it sounded in my dream, and decided that it should be about the final two-part episode of Full House, where Michelle gets thrown from a horse that she was riding and develops amnesia. The song laments the fact that Michelle survived the accident, but celebrates the fact that Michelle will likely need surgery.

The slow speed at which I ate food as a kid was legendary.  My mom once recounted a story that she heard from a teacher/lunchroom monitor at my elementary school: A boy's mother was expressing concern to her that her son wouldn't eat fast enough at lunch to keep up with the other kids, and the monitor assured her, "Don't worry, no one eats slower than Peter Faust." And it's true, I often was the last person remaining in the cafeteria before heading out to recess.

There are a few prevailing theories to why I would eat so slow:

1. I march to the beat of my own drum machine, and I don't give a flying fuck about meeting the demands of fucking fascists.

2. I was easily distracted, and I would space out and forget about eating.

3. I guess there's actually only two.  I also think I didn't have a big appetite.  I was kind of a scrawny fella, remember.

4. Unlike some of the other kids, I would finish my lunch entirely.  The idea of throwing parts of my lunch away never occurred to me.

So, that's kind of a bummer, right people?  No, ya gotta be ashamed of eating slow!  Thanks everyone, I really needed to be reminded that I eat really slow, and that I'm an embarrassment to you and society in general. Once when I was finished eating my lunch, I headed outside for recess and I saw these two girls laughing at me.  "You just finished your lunch?," one of them giggled. Her name was Lindsay.  FUCK you Lindsay for reinforcing gender roles.  Sure, if I cram a steak down my throat in three seconds, you'll get all excited and want to make sweet love to me.

And as it turns out, eating slow is regarded as a positive thing in adulthood.  Now that I don't eat particularly slowly, they're telling me to because it's better for your metabolism.  I know I made this joke already once before, but there ya have it, the misunderstood genius is once again trampled by the ignorant masses.  And while we're on the subject of eating, you can all eat my fucking ass.

Here's yet another new pilot called YO PALM SPRINGS, the subject matter combines a Palm Springs episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air as well as Saved By the Bell.  In the above picture, Will is saying "YO PALM SPRINGS," in anticipation of his visit.  It's part of a classic episode from the first season of the show called "Mistaken Identity."

The Saved By the Bell part (the first verse/sample) is from an episode called Palm Springs Weekend - that hyperlink there links to some batshit blog with great pictures of the episode.

This is one of those where I'm really not concerned whether or not people know what I'm talking about our understand what I'm saying.  Should be a good one live, Mary Alice is already working on the projection.

PEACE

Actor Johnny Depp just opened a new club on Sunset Strip in West Hollywood.  To commemorate this occasion, here is a musical tribute called "The Grand Opening of Johnny Depp's Viper Room."

Here's a new pilot called "We Here at NASA."  It has a drum beat that has been kicking around for almost two years, and it finally has a home.  I came up with the lyrics in a daze one recent weekday morning, they are as follows:

We here at the Church of Scientology think that you have much better things to do

We here at the San Francisco DMV will see you at the San Diego Zoo

You can make your baby love you, but you can't predict the rain

You may whisper to Cat Stevens, but you can't forget the pain

We here at NASA want you to believe in us, cuz we believe in everything you do

It contains a sample from the Saved By the Bell episode "The Fight," taken from the very scene where it goes down between Zack and Slater, while the Bayside girls plead for some semblance of order.  The line "We Here at NASA" is taken from an old Electric Grandmother song called "Spaceman" from 2003.  Hope you like it, and if you don't, it's only about 1:10 long.  And yes, the tabloids are correct in reporting on a new EG album coming sometime this Summer.

Many years ago I was watching this movie about a war (and I have no idea what it was, so please tell me if you do), where a firefight broke out on the ground between US troops and whoever the enemy was.  While the majority of the US troops advanced on the enemy and risked their lives in the battle, this one dude panicked and was like "Fuck this!,"  and ran the other direction and hid in a fox hole until the gunfire stopped ringing out.  At first, the other troops didn't know what he did, but eventually they were on to him, and he was eventually exposed for being a "coward."

I really felt empathy for that guy, because that would've been me during a war.  I'd of been the "Fuck this!" guy who ran the other way and hid.  I felt bad when the others found out what he did.  He was just scared.  Is that so wrong?  A bunch of people he didn't know were shooting machine guns at him for what was very likely a stupid cause. If not wanting to die in the name of such an abstract concept as "Patriotism" is wrong, call me Mr. Wrong.  I understand about standing by your friends - that's why I think it would be a good idea for ALL of us underprivileged 20-year olds from rural Nebraska to be like "Fuck this!," and run the other way.  Do you think those rich people who put us up to this would risk their lives?  Fuck them, and fuck this. They tricked us into this, and now we're getting the fuck out of here.

It reminds me of an incident that took place when I was at 6th grade camp.  The teachers wanted us students to participate in an "Alligator Hunt," which entailed walking waist deep in a river for miles until a stuffed alligator toy was found.  I wasn't a very good swimmer, and I was a short kid, so I was concerned "waist deep" would mean "neck deep" for me.  When I got to the edge of the river to go in, I said "Fuck this, I'm not doing it." My cabin partner/friend didn't want to do it either, but he eventually and very gingerly walked in and disappeared down the river.  That to me is more cowardly, thank you very much. He was too chickenshit to turn away. So while all those other kids ended up filthy and freezing, me and a few other geeks ended up dry and happy back at the cabin.

So let that be a lesson to you kids, it's important to learn the value of "Fuck this!," because fuck them.

PEW PEW PEW PEW!!! 9/11

Here's a new demo called "Bill and Hillary Clinton Making Out in a Hot Tub Filled With Poop and Pee. " It kind of happened organically.  That picture there was just good fortune.