We miss you, Balloon Boy!
We miss you, balloon boy. Please come home soon. We don’t know why you got into that balloon, but know that we care. We care for you. And we want you to take care when you’re up in the balloon, chasing your dream.
We don’t know why you like balloons. But we don’t like balloons, because they took you away from us. I’ll never forget how I felt when I saw you grab the balloon string, and the balloon lifted you up, up and away. Stop it, balloon boy. Stop flying away with the balloons.
Oh shit, the balloon fell. Balloon boy must have been the balloon. But he did not die in vain, because he was one of those weird balloon fetish people. In fact, balloon boy often told me of his erotic-balloon-snuff fantasies. I didn’t think it was so cool, but he chose to die how he wanted to live, engulfed in flames with a balloon.
And now a musical tribute:
Oh balloon boy, don’t make it bad
Take a sad song, and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
And you like balloons a lot
